53 Comments
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brielle's avatar

consider me spooked. this was so good. such good dialog and flow. all of it came together so well. i was reading this in my room and it's 1am and pitch dark and i had to put my phone light on because i was so effectively freaked out

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Sean Thomas McDonnell's avatar

I don’t think there is a better compliment than someone saying they had to put a light on. Thank you thank you! ❤️

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Jimmy Gardner's avatar

Dude, this was great! Perfect pacing, great voice. Loved it

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Sean Thomas McDonnell's avatar

Thank you, Jimmy! I appreciate it! ❤️

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Sudana Krasniqi's avatar

Sean, this is next level. the dialogue, the tension. brilliant work.

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Sean Thomas McDonnell's avatar

❤️🙏 Thank you Thank you!

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EJ Trask's avatar

this might be my favorite automatic writer story yet. fantastically horrible, visceral, creeping until the moment it explodes. great work, the birds are your muse.

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Sean Thomas McDonnell's avatar

Yay! Might be my favorite, too. It was tough, with the multiple narratives. It felt like a puzzle.

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Walker Kuykendall's avatar

Holy moly. I had a grotesque look frozen on my face for a while there. I really like the present tense during the detective scene and then the past tense after the fact.

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Sean Thomas McDonnell's avatar

Thanks, Walker! haha Love to read that. I had a good time playing with the tenses in this story!

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Caroline Miller's avatar

I am stunned in all senses, wow that was unbelievably good, thank you so much 😶

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Sean Thomas McDonnell's avatar

Thank you, Caroline. That means a lot to me! ❤️

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Ika Wright's avatar

I liked how it flowed and the scene is quite gruesome Sean. I can see why this earned you more subs, it's really really good. Great piece!

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Sean Thomas McDonnell's avatar

I appreciate you reading my story, Ika. I hope you’ve been well!

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Ika Wright's avatar

You're always welcome Sean. I am still kicking 😊

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Alexander Ipfelkofer's avatar

Visceral and creepy tale. Nicely done, Sean!

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Sean Thomas McDonnell's avatar

Thanks, Alexander! ❤️

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molly's avatar

this may be your best yet. Awesome stuff

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Sean Thomas McDonnell's avatar

Thank you, Molly! It was a struggle in the best way.

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Sandy Shaller's avatar

I just finished "The Good Egg," in an 18 page flush of not being ablet to put it down. You've got a really classic narrator in this story. Every bit of his dialogue is riviting as the reader waits for what seems an inevitable fate for the policeman. I think this story ranks with Robert Bloch's (or should I say Hitchcock's) PSYCHO. Bravo!!

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Sean Thomas McDonnell's avatar

Thank you, Sandy! I was definitely trying to channel the Hitchcock energy. It was one of the most fun and challenging things I've written to date.

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A.P. Murphy's avatar

Really excellent work, Seany, so well written with a delicate prose style fitting the theme so well.

It's almost like there's the ghost of Poe's Tell-Tale Heart buried under the floorboards too. Rich texture and heritage.

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Sean Thomas McDonnell's avatar

Oooo I didn't see the Poe thing until you said it. Thank you, bud. Your words mean a lot. ❤️

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Bryan Pirolli's avatar

This is why I stay on Substack. Great pace, great dialogue, great everything. 🥇

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Sean Thomas McDonnell's avatar

Thank you, Bryan! ❤️

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Nick Winney's avatar

Really great. impossible to stop reading. will have to read it again a few times... sure im missing some clues connecting the eggs. where did your idea for this come from? my anvil doesnt work like yours. never will!

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Sean Thomas McDonnell's avatar

Thanks, Nick! The idea came from a few places. I’d written a micro some time back about a boy who swallows an egg. I really loved that imagery. I’m also working on a story for an anthology that had a theme that prompted this story, but ended up going with a different story for that antho. But really, it was a lot of noodling until things started to click. It took some time. haha

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Lyndsey Resnick's avatar

Well done! Great pacing. Thank you.

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Sean Thomas McDonnell's avatar

Thank you, Lyndsey! ❤️

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Hanna Delaney's avatar

Christ.

Bravo, my friend.

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Sean Thomas McDonnell's avatar

haha thank you! ❤️

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Jon T's avatar

Gives superb creepy effect. Jeez sir. Well well well done.

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Sean Thomas McDonnell's avatar

Thanks, Jon!! ❤️

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