This is such a brilliant story! As unlikeable as I found the protagonist, I just couldn't stop reading! Every single sentence was so compelling. I was definitely not expecting the ending! I honestly thought that maybe he had blacked out and killed them all himself... I did not see Helen getting involved! Reading this was a thoroughly wonderful experience!
Seven swans a swimming may fit into the Christmas song, but it is also the title of a Grimm's fairy tale which I think you have beautifully brought around to your own style of story telling and your own style of character development. There is the horror of the terrible death of the swans and the melancholy story of Helen until the final reveal. All that's needed now if for his transformation. A wonderful read.
When I saw you had seven swans, I chuckled, knowing your tendency toward bird things haha this story is my favorite of yours I think — it’s unique, elegant, and sharp.
So good I didn’t want it to end! I want to be a fly on the wall when these two get back home (assuming the don’t get arrested 😅). What a wild and twisted relationship🖤
OK so I called the ending but didn't think it would be happy, really well played. Also... Really... Mildly disturbing. I think I'm going to go do some Swedish Death Cleaning now.
Oh, the delicate madness! This was love, obsession, and floating, balletic lunacy all wrapped up in satisfied loneliness! What have you done here!? I must now have a glass swan.
Ive read this three times. The ending is so unexpected- even when I half expected it might be Helen that was killing the swans - I had to search for clues and symbols as to what was happening but still I cant - because she can't really be the swans - but then how does she know about the swans, and then why are there bits of swan missing - has she made a swan suit like buffalo bill (beak?) - is the black swan significant - the swan of death - has he gone insane and just needs to grasp onto anything that means his swans still live.... SO mysterious and multi faceted beneath the seemingly straightforward layers we get to start with - still shaking my head at this. its like normal normal normal...oh! a bit sad....oh! a bit more sad....and then WHAT THE ABSOLUTE FUCK?? - I think you have done "quite a good job" here Mr McDonnell.
I love this comment, Nick. Thank you for reading it three times! That is commitment. When I wrote the story I imagined Helen collecting parts of the swans, and dressing like them. But after I'd finished with the piece, I wasn't sure she was the one that killed them. I'm not even sure if she was there with him at the end. He seems a little...unstable. I know artists should understand their work better than others, maybe good ones do, but I enjoy being able to dissect my own mind. haha
pool ripple blue is going to live in my head forever. this is a piece of etched glass, fragile, dreamy and soaked in light
I did not expect that ending.
Good job.
This is such a brilliant story! As unlikeable as I found the protagonist, I just couldn't stop reading! Every single sentence was so compelling. I was definitely not expecting the ending! I honestly thought that maybe he had blacked out and killed them all himself... I did not see Helen getting involved! Reading this was a thoroughly wonderful experience!
Thank you, Nicole! Lovely comment to wake up to!
Seven swans a swimming may fit into the Christmas song, but it is also the title of a Grimm's fairy tale which I think you have beautifully brought around to your own style of story telling and your own style of character development. There is the horror of the terrible death of the swans and the melancholy story of Helen until the final reveal. All that's needed now if for his transformation. A wonderful read.
Thank you, Sandy! ❤️
When I saw you had seven swans, I chuckled, knowing your tendency toward bird things haha this story is my favorite of yours I think — it’s unique, elegant, and sharp.
Thank you, Keith! haha birds 4 eva.
So good I didn’t want it to end! I want to be a fly on the wall when these two get back home (assuming the don’t get arrested 😅). What a wild and twisted relationship🖤
OK so I called the ending but didn't think it would be happy, really well played. Also... Really... Mildly disturbing. I think I'm going to go do some Swedish Death Cleaning now.
Oh, the delicate madness! This was love, obsession, and floating, balletic lunacy all wrapped up in satisfied loneliness! What have you done here!? I must now have a glass swan.
So haunting! This is insane. youve done it again. I think I may reread the whole thing now.
I was on the edge of my seat the whole time, beautiful work
Ive read this three times. The ending is so unexpected- even when I half expected it might be Helen that was killing the swans - I had to search for clues and symbols as to what was happening but still I cant - because she can't really be the swans - but then how does she know about the swans, and then why are there bits of swan missing - has she made a swan suit like buffalo bill (beak?) - is the black swan significant - the swan of death - has he gone insane and just needs to grasp onto anything that means his swans still live.... SO mysterious and multi faceted beneath the seemingly straightforward layers we get to start with - still shaking my head at this. its like normal normal normal...oh! a bit sad....oh! a bit more sad....and then WHAT THE ABSOLUTE FUCK?? - I think you have done "quite a good job" here Mr McDonnell.
I love this comment, Nick. Thank you for reading it three times! That is commitment. When I wrote the story I imagined Helen collecting parts of the swans, and dressing like them. But after I'd finished with the piece, I wasn't sure she was the one that killed them. I'm not even sure if she was there with him at the end. He seems a little...unstable. I know artists should understand their work better than others, maybe good ones do, but I enjoy being able to dissect my own mind. haha
What a great idea (from an always creative mind) I will be following this.
Lovely and delicate. Great imagery that sticks in the mind’s eye like shards of broken glass. Nice work!
That last scene is wild. The mental image is so grotesque and beautiful at the same time. Love the swan names too -- Mean Dean! What a rascal.
Vitreous lunacy, delicate, cutting, mesmerizing.
Love or obsession? Or both? What will we do to become the loved? Excellent shadows, Sean.