I love the mix of such beautiful language with the twisted brutality of this woman's death. I also love the way I'm not sure if the main character actually killed her, or if Mother Lake just gave him a fever dream to draw him onto the water. This is awesome!
Yes! That's what I think happened here. It was all a trick to get him out onto the water. I also love the idea of no actual violence having taken place during the story.
my only feeling is that having named her Jane, maybe she should have kept that name instead of "woman"... makes her more human...makes her murder more poignant? can't fault it though. excellent work !
plain-Jane isn't her name, it's more of a derogatory term for a woman that is not especially attractive. Sort of like how people use "basic" these days. The woman is actually Mother Lake.
In my head, she's lured him out onto the water. The body wasn't a woman's body, it was a mutilated animal. Now whether this all comes across to the reader haha
Brilliant. I love the spare story-telling, the careful choice of words and the growing sense of menace until....Mother Lake and her children. I can easily imagine this in terrifying animation on one of those shows that has animated stories all in the macabre mode.
This is so good and so rich. I just don't think "plain Jane" works, especially with all the rest of the descriptive delights. It's the one false note in this otherwise wonderful concerto.
It’s a cliche, and not a deep one. With all the thought you put into the other descriptions, she needs something from the character’s head that gives the reader an idea of her blandness or lack of pizzazz. I can’t say lack of allure because obviously there was allure.
Nice! Love the creeping dread. Btw “Mother Lake” is the Japanese nickname for the lake I live next to near Kyoto. Now I don’t want to go down there anymore lol.
This was brilliant. The religious imagery (his hands smelling of roses, her palms up waiting for Christ, the lamb in the water, Paradise Lost, etc) is paired with the horror to great effect.
Yay, finally got to read this! I love the imagery and the personification of the sky and the lake with the bruises and mother lake. The terrifying nature of... nature.
This is beautifully written, Sean. It’s like a horrific painting. I’m not too familiar with folk horror, to be honest. But if this is what it is, then I’m going to have to read a lot more of it!
Thank you! I just read your eight ball story. I loved the casual tone—it made it very believable.
This folk horror is a bit different than most you’ll read because of the length. If I opened it up a bit I could insert more lore, something to suggest Mother Lake is known to the locals. But yes, folk horror is fun!
I did, actually. We were called “It’s The Words” ironically enough, haha. I definitely pulled from real life on that story. One of my favorite things is taking a real life memory or event—even if it wasn’t something that happened to me—and adding some level of supernatural or paranormal alteration to it. It’s kind of like an imagination exercise I like to do. I don’t do it for every story I write, but I really enjoy creating them when I do.
That’s so great! That’s some classic punk rock, man. It’s crazy the amount of likeminded artists on here. If I can find some of our stuff on the internet somewhere, I’ll send you a link. This was back around 2007-2010. Our stuff was more from the emo pop/punk scene. Sounds more like early Fall Out Boy, haha.
Thank you! I feel I can personally get more emotion across if I write in my actual voice. I’m hoping I can get more stylistic over time, though. I’m a lore hound! I love lore, even if there’s not real need for it, haha. I would love to read more of Mother Lake.
Loved the atmosphere in this one! The "plain jane" bit was my favorite part.
🤣
Just the title, "Mother Lake" fills me with terror. Can't want to read it.
haha thanks Sandy! ❤️
I love the mix of such beautiful language with the twisted brutality of this woman's death. I also love the way I'm not sure if the main character actually killed her, or if Mother Lake just gave him a fever dream to draw him onto the water. This is awesome!
Yes! That's what I think happened here. It was all a trick to get him out onto the water. I also love the idea of no actual violence having taken place during the story.
So dark and feverish…he’ll never escape. Loved it!
Thanks, Liz! ❤️💀
This was hideously dark.
"her throat is storm clouds"... wonderful!!
my only feeling is that having named her Jane, maybe she should have kept that name instead of "woman"... makes her more human...makes her murder more poignant? can't fault it though. excellent work !
Mother Lake: a terrifying presence!
Thank you!
plain-Jane isn't her name, it's more of a derogatory term for a woman that is not especially attractive. Sort of like how people use "basic" these days. The woman is actually Mother Lake.
ahhh i thought mother lake was the retribution...
In my head, she's lured him out onto the water. The body wasn't a woman's body, it was a mutilated animal. Now whether this all comes across to the reader haha
AND I JUST REALISED THE FACE ... THE FACE!!!!!
🤣👄
ahhh... i totally got all this wrong!!!
amazing that its brilliant even though i completely missed the whole story!!! the mind is terrible!
of course... what is the dog doing there after all... doh!
Brilliant. I love the spare story-telling, the careful choice of words and the growing sense of menace until....Mother Lake and her children. I can easily imagine this in terrifying animation on one of those shows that has animated stories all in the macabre mode.
Ohh I love that. It'll be animated the next time I read this for sure. ❤️
This is so good and so rich. I just don't think "plain Jane" works, especially with all the rest of the descriptive delights. It's the one false note in this otherwise wonderful concerto.
Thank you, Jimmy! Let me think on that a little. Can you explain why it's false for you?
It’s a cliche, and not a deep one. With all the thought you put into the other descriptions, she needs something from the character’s head that gives the reader an idea of her blandness or lack of pizzazz. I can’t say lack of allure because obviously there was allure.
Plain Jane was coined by A. P. Herbert in 1927.
Nice! Love the creeping dread. Btw “Mother Lake” is the Japanese nickname for the lake I live next to near Kyoto. Now I don’t want to go down there anymore lol.
Whoa! Well, if you do go there, don't get tricked by Mother Lake! She wants you out on the water!
okay i'm here. this greatly reminds me of japanese style horror that i love (loathe i'm actually a baby when it comes to horror movies).
echoing the fantastic atmosphere and the way the text heightens the disjointed feeling. so many questions that will never be answered. great work!
You've made my evening, Renni. This is the first time I've had a story compared to Japanese style horror, and I love it. 🖤
What an excellent and exceptionally creepy tale, Sean! Fantastic imagery.
Thank you, Logan! That means a lot to me!
It was so good, dude!
❤️
Nothing but water tricks up in here. Great work Shony. Love all the strong metaphor.
Thanks, Jon! 💦
This was brilliant. The religious imagery (his hands smelling of roses, her palms up waiting for Christ, the lamb in the water, Paradise Lost, etc) is paired with the horror to great effect.
Thank you! ❤️ 📿
Omg Sean! So many brilliant lines in this.
Thank you thank you thank you! ❤️
This was fucking great!
Ahh thank homie. That means a lot!
Yay, finally got to read this! I love the imagery and the personification of the sky and the lake with the bruises and mother lake. The terrifying nature of... nature.
❤️ Ahh love it. Thank you thank you!
This is beautifully written, Sean. It’s like a horrific painting. I’m not too familiar with folk horror, to be honest. But if this is what it is, then I’m going to have to read a lot more of it!
Thank you! I just read your eight ball story. I loved the casual tone—it made it very believable.
This folk horror is a bit different than most you’ll read because of the length. If I opened it up a bit I could insert more lore, something to suggest Mother Lake is known to the locals. But yes, folk horror is fun!
I did, actually. We were called “It’s The Words” ironically enough, haha. I definitely pulled from real life on that story. One of my favorite things is taking a real life memory or event—even if it wasn’t something that happened to me—and adding some level of supernatural or paranormal alteration to it. It’s kind of like an imagination exercise I like to do. I don’t do it for every story I write, but I really enjoy creating them when I do.
I knew it! I played in punk bands back in the day, too. This was the last one I played in: https://voidedsocialcontract.bandcamp.com/album/ape-law
That’s so great! That’s some classic punk rock, man. It’s crazy the amount of likeminded artists on here. If I can find some of our stuff on the internet somewhere, I’ll send you a link. This was back around 2007-2010. Our stuff was more from the emo pop/punk scene. Sounds more like early Fall Out Boy, haha.
Thank you! I feel I can personally get more emotion across if I write in my actual voice. I’m hoping I can get more stylistic over time, though. I’m a lore hound! I love lore, even if there’s not real need for it, haha. I would love to read more of Mother Lake.
Did you ever play in a punk band? That whole thing rang true to me. Also, Newport sounds like it would be a pop punk band for sure. ha