32 Comments

Oh man. Somehow joyous, imaginative, soul crushing, and REAL all at once. A great tale, and unlike anything I've read before. Loved it. 👏

Expand full comment

Thank you! Wow. That is so awesome to read. I was a little nervous about this one because it's so different than anything I've written before.

I'd written multiple versions of this tale--I even considered trying to create an indie video game out of it, like a cross between What Remains of Edith Finch and Scribblenauts.

Expand full comment

Wait... you make video games??

Expand full comment

No, but why should I let that stop me? 🤣

Expand full comment

Do it! This story, the concept is brilliant!

Expand full comment

Right? It could be cool. I even started making a pitch deck. I don't know, maybe I will? Yeah...maybe...I...will. haha

Expand full comment

We all need this energy. ✊️

Expand full comment

I truly believe that.

Expand full comment

you have so much compassion for your characters, it draws me in every time. this is so imaginative, sweet and melancholy. something like shel silverstein or roald dahl would have come up with. and yes, i would play that video game.

Expand full comment

Aww thank you! I def get down with Shel and Roald. ❤️

Expand full comment

your characters always feel so alive. The voice you give to them is always astonishing and a pleasure to read.

Expand full comment

Thank you, Will. I try to become them. For good or bad. ❤️

Expand full comment

Loved this. The story seemed to be going in one direction, then abruptly changed emotional tack in the last couple of paragraphs. Death is real and natural and inevitable. But it's still sad.

Expand full comment

Thank you, Jane! ❤️ That means a lot to me. Lovely comment to read first thing in the morning.

Expand full comment

Horror isn’t for me, but spec fic is, and I enjoyed this a lot.

Expand full comment

Sean- I enjoyed it. Especially how you ended this piece: "He embraces his friend." Hope you're well this week? Cheers, -Thalia

Expand full comment

I'm doing great, Thalia! Thank you for reading and saying hi! How are you doing?

Expand full comment

Today is the first day I've encountered your page, and I really enjoyed this story. Being a proof-reading freak, I expect your spell-checker created the typo in the paragraph starting, "The bleachers were empty expect for Manny". Exceptional tale of death and companionship. 💜

Expand full comment

Ohh, good eye! Thank you, corrected. I appreciate the kind words! ❤️

Expand full comment

Beautiful.

Expand full comment

Thank you, Linda! ❤️ ❤️

Expand full comment

This is everything. It says it all, and with such gentle compassion and wisdom. What a remarkable story. It made me cry and smile at once, made me sad and provided the balm for that sadness. What a beautiful thing you’ve created!

Expand full comment

Ahh thank you so much, Liz. ❤️❤️❤️

Expand full comment

It's very different, but I agree with what others have said in that this is great. Very real.

Expand full comment

Thank you, Hanna! ❤️ I'm going to get started on your chapters soon here and I'm really excited. I'm having trouble getting moving on my novel, what's your secret!? haha

Expand full comment

What have you got so far? My secret was putting it on substack and having fire up my backside in the form of "need to post a chapter next week" and I just did that like, for 4 months 😂 Do you have an outline? Honestly with that bit of public pressure it was doable.

Expand full comment

I don't think I want to do it that way, because (for me) a lot of times longer stories really need to be shifted around. I'm starting with a big moment, but it might turn out that this moment works better in a later chapter.

I have an extremely loose outline rn. But I think I'm going to need to go into detail on some things in order to build and release tension in the right spots. There is also something that I really want to attempt to do, but I'm not sure how to make it happen. It's requiring a lot of staring blankly into space for the moment, hoping to see something in the clouds.

Expand full comment

You will, I'm sure! It'll get you while you're doing something completely unrelated.

Expand full comment

I paused a short way into this and stopped.. t occurred to me ,how real it felt. . Completely plausible.

A real treat. Sso I decided to make some coffee and a sandwich so I wouldn't have to stop again. Settled in to take my time, and read as fast as I could to find out. Natural Magic, that we rarely see these days. Just enough fear to make me not read another before I go to bed.

Thank n you for for the sweetness.

Expand full comment

Something about you stopping to make coffee and a sandwich to have while you read my story that makes me immensely happy. Thank you 🙏🏼 ❤️

Expand full comment

It made me feel happy too. I going to read some more in the morning with my Breakfast, I’ll share it with my friends too.

Expand full comment

❤️

Expand full comment