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EJ Trask's avatar

forever taking your advice, i read this in a conference room during a meeting. i love it, sean. the vagabond days, the poetry of humans tossing each other a favor, the way the world falls out from under you when someone who was your pillar disappears. thank you for sharing.

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Sean Thomas McDonnell's avatar

I love that you read this during a meeting. 🙌 😂 Yeah, I don't know where I would have been without those folks helping me out here and there during those times.

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Jon T's avatar

"How big is a hole left by the absence of a god?"

C'mon my man.

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A.P. Murphy's avatar

Loved it! Somehow you crashing on some geezer's floor in Liverpool forms a dark symmetry with the English punks crashing on EJ's floor in NYC.

Just gonna insert my political bit - no crushing medical debt except only in the US - political bit done.

Still not clear who Sir Thomas of Maine is, but feel that I don't need to know. Thanks for sharing your experiences.

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Sean Thomas McDonnell's avatar

Tom's of Maine. It's a toothpaste brand.

I started off this piece going into the systemic problems that caused me to be homeless, but decided to keep it strictly autobiographical. But yeah, I hurt my knee while on tour the year before and racked up 7k for my trouble. Ridiculous.

You know, at one point, before I'd even lost my apartment, I tried to enroll to get food stamps and was denied because my car was worth over 1k. I was on crutches! I told them, how am I supposed to get to work, and get food and all that, if I sell my car? It's such a broken system.

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William Pauley III's avatar

After reading this, I realize our lives have similar parallels. I've experienced loss, homelessness, and financial devastation... I'm just not ready to talk about it all just yet. Thanks for sharing this. Sorry about your dad. I still miss my mother every day. It doesn't seem to get easier over time either. Take care, my friend.

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Sean Thomas McDonnell's avatar

That trauma is hard to talk about. Totally get it. If you ever need an ear though, hit me up. Sometimes sharing your story with people who have a similar experience does help. I have a friend who lost his father at an early age, too. And talking with him about it has been helpful. No pressure, though.

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William Pauley III's avatar

Very much appreciated. Thank you!

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brielle's avatar

i thought this was fiction until i saw the picture of whoosywhaty. captivating story!

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Sean Thomas McDonnell's avatar

Thank you, Bri! ❤️

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Lizzy Co (she/they)'s avatar

So fucking good, dude. More Seany memoir please!

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Sean Thomas McDonnell's avatar

Ugh, I don't think I have it in me for more memoir. At least not for a bit. It stirs up a lot of feelings that I'm trying my best to bury! ;)

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molly's avatar

this is incredible. Thank you again for being here and making it happen, you're awesome. And I fuck with the Drive Like Jehu shirt

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Sean Thomas McDonnell's avatar

Thank you, Molly! You're amazing! I made that shirt and wore it A LOT. haha

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Liz Zimmers's avatar

Smashing. Devastating. Wow. What hard, hard times and you came through them. Now, they are pure gold to mine for your craft. This was a wonderful memoir. And yes, it has shaped you in magnificent ways. The hardest carving yields the most beautiful works of art.

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Sean Thomas McDonnell's avatar

❤️

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Shane Bzdok's avatar

This is a helluva story, Sean. I never found myself unhoused, but my parents didn't have shit growing up and I remember one particular shitty apartment we lived in where I slept on a reclining lawn chair cot, my "bed" for 6 months. Experiencing the human condition is what this is. It's legit grit—the kind you can't fake.

Your story here is proof of the gold you will continue to mine from your experiences for the rest of your life. Well done, per usual.

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Sean Thomas McDonnell's avatar

Oh man, that's rough! Grit is right. I don't think I would have chosen any of this, but it's certainly shaped me as a person. I think for the better. Thanks, Shane!

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Will Boucher's avatar

absolutely in love with this. sometimes things just fall into place, other times they fall apart. i bet your teeth are nice and shiny though

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Sean Thomas McDonnell's avatar

Thank you, Will. It was hard to share--nonfiction feels weird. haha And you know, I wish my teeth reflected this decision a bit more than they do, but alas, my coffee vice...

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Will Boucher's avatar

nonfiction does feel very weird—yours is equally as powerful as your fiction

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C.S. Mee's avatar

i like the christmas photo. great descriptions in this, sean. sending love for dad.

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Sean Thomas McDonnell's avatar

haha thanks! ❤️

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Anna Schott's avatar

I'm so sorry about your dad, Sean. Great writing.

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Sean Thomas McDonnell's avatar

Thank you, Anna! ❤️

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Sudana Krasniqi's avatar

Seany this was such a touching piece. Thank you for sharing a piece of yourself so vulnerably and beautifully with us.

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Sean Thomas McDonnell's avatar

Thanks, Sudana! ❤️

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Sandy Shaller's avatar

This is going to be my next McDonnell read. It sound very inticing and the train picture grabbed meright away. I LOVE trains!!.

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Laggy's avatar

Great writing. Love Slobber. Punk in its natural habitat. Glad you made it out the other side. Melanie and her mom still around?

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Sean Thomas McDonnell's avatar

I've lost contact with them, unfortunately. Would be cool to see them again! :)

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Jim J Wilsky's avatar

Sean, that was fantastic writing but I'm sure it was hard for you to put out there. Lots of pain, lots of memories. You're a survivor of some hard times and when you write, you don't have to pretend to know the feeling(s). Sometimes fiction is reality and reality is fiction. Thanks for sharing - Jim

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Sean Thomas McDonnell's avatar

"Sometimes fiction is reality and reality is fiction." Well said, Jim. 💯

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