38 Comments
Jun 10Liked by Sean Thomas McDonnell

Moral of the story: always share your candy...or else a rat will eat your face.

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author

I knew that if I didn't share this cautionary tale, there would be blood on my hands.

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Jun 10Liked by Sean Thomas McDonnell

I'm going to use it convince my partner to share his candy.

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author

🤣

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Jun 11Liked by Sean Thomas McDonnell

Aesop himself couldn't have put it better.

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Jun 11Liked by Sean Thomas McDonnell

"I just want to go watch my programs" -- me every day.

Also best touch was the testicles.

In a deep way, they kinda call out the ridiculous male-ness of Brad.

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Oh man, I wish I could say that was on purpose, but really I just think rat balls are gross. haha

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Jun 11Liked by Sean Thomas McDonnell

Nobody's gonna mention the real horror, that he finds Big Bang Theory funny.

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So, the truth is, this character is loosely modeled after my father in law, who may or may not watch BBT every single night and eat candy. And because it's on every night, I have caught myself laughing at a joke here and there and then feeling so laaaaammmee afterwards. 🤣

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Jun 11Liked by Sean Thomas McDonnell

There are occasional lines that truly work well, as the scriptwriters and cast know their jobs, it's the overall sub-Seinfeld premise and dated mise-en-scène with braying studio audience plus laugh track. And the pure stultifying conventionality of it. It is indeed the televisual equivalent of a recliner.

Used to watch it myself some years back when we were at the holiday place where there's no internet. On rainy days, not so common here in summer, something do do with the kids...

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Jun 11Liked by Sean Thomas McDonnell

Tbh, I’m on team giant rat here. He’ll probably make a way better husband.

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author

Team Rat fo sho. ➕

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Jun 11Liked by Sean Thomas McDonnell

I think I’ve met more than a few Brads in my life, and this story felt like dark, funny poetic justice.

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Jun 10Liked by Sean Thomas McDonnell

This happened to me once. Chewed my entire face off. Thankfully there was a donor nearby. Fun story!

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Hey, I donated my face, maybe you have mine!

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Jun 10Liked by Sean Thomas McDonnell

If this is your way of saying you want it back, it's waaayyy too late for that, buddy boy! It's mine!!!

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author

I like the clean look anyhow 💀

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Jun 10Liked by Sean Thomas McDonnell

🤣

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Jun 10·edited Jun 10Liked by Sean Thomas McDonnell

Had a little shock reading the header. How did you get to that one?? Nice little horror. Rats never let you down!

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Jun 10·edited Jun 10Author

I've got 5 stories in the works and none of them are for Substack. So I popped one out this morning. haha 💨

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Jun 10Liked by Sean Thomas McDonnell

No, I mean the Dutch subtitle. Had a little surreal moment there.

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author

Ohh! I worked with a dutch woman a long time ago and she taught me the saying. :)

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Jun 10Liked by Sean Thomas McDonnell

Well, you freaked me out with that alone, so... mission accomplished? But seriously, written just this morning: great stuff!

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Jun 11Liked by Sean Thomas McDonnell

Aaagh! That’s all I have to say, really. Creep factor off the chart!

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Jun 11Liked by Sean Thomas McDonnell

Ya know.. having lived with rats a time or five, you nailed this.

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author

🤣

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Jun 10Liked by Sean Thomas McDonnell

"Thanks for coming in today Sean. Have a seat on the couch and make yourself comfortable. Let's start where we left off last time. Tell me again, how often do you have these thoughts?"

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author

"Oh...the rat one? I guess...maybe every ten minutes or so. But it's not always a rat. In fact, most of the time it's a bird. I don't know what it is a about birds...want a piece of candy?"

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Jun 10Liked by Sean Thomas McDonnell

"Let's stay on topic Sean. Tell me more about the birds. Do they speak to you?"

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"Only when I'm not speaking. Probably why I talk so much."

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Jun 11Liked by Sean Thomas McDonnell

"Probably why I talk so much.".....and write so well. - Jim

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Jun 10Liked by Sean Thomas McDonnell

Not the cheek!😭😭

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author

It really wanted that candy. Must be good stuff! 🤣

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Jun 11Liked by Sean Thomas McDonnell

I can respect that. Ha!

I enjoyed it.

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Jun 10Liked by Sean Thomas McDonnell

Don't you feed your rats? This is them being desperate enough to go after someone named Brad. Fun story Sean

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author

I feed my rat plenty of Brads.

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Jun 10Liked by Sean Thomas McDonnell

Rings kinda nice on my mind.

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Important rats think they can just do anything and get away with it.

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