Sean, I thoroughly enjoyed "Caged." You've created a memorable creature in the Teluride Entity. Its answers to Carl's questions become the most significant part of the story. The reader has to grapple with the extraordinary appearance of the 'being' and the wings! The leathery wings are a stroke of genius, because readers of horror have been educated to associate leathery wings with any number of things: vampires, demons, angels, fallen angels, and so forth. Tom is a wonderful protagonist, but I was frustrated by his disappearance at the end when I still have so many questions. I'll have to do my assigned work as a reader...imagine the answers myself. I won't forget "The Creature of Telluride," which I think should be the title of the story. (just a suggestion)
At the risk of using an expression my students so thoroughly overworked, OMG! There's so much depth here, so much hint of even more horror lurking just out of sight. The beast, after all, must have come from somewhere. There must be more of them...
Ah, that's kind, Sean. I don't really have a platform to share it anywhere right now, and I might hold onto it in case there's somewhere else for it to go. Alan Grainger gave me some excellent feedback on it via the feedback exchange, so I'll review it with some of his comments. Happy to send it you via email if you fancy a read and thanks for your interest.
Loved it. Great stuff, very smoothly written.
Thank you, Ken! <3
No problem, very deserved praise. Hate to see what beat you out for first place, because this was stellar!
https://www.globesoup.net/primal-fears-horror-short-story-winner-2024
The competition was stiff! :)
It's not bad but I like yours better. Setting, tone, dialogue. Part about the seed store wasn't bad, though.
Sean, I thoroughly enjoyed "Caged." You've created a memorable creature in the Teluride Entity. Its answers to Carl's questions become the most significant part of the story. The reader has to grapple with the extraordinary appearance of the 'being' and the wings! The leathery wings are a stroke of genius, because readers of horror have been educated to associate leathery wings with any number of things: vampires, demons, angels, fallen angels, and so forth. Tom is a wonderful protagonist, but I was frustrated by his disappearance at the end when I still have so many questions. I'll have to do my assigned work as a reader...imagine the answers myself. I won't forget "The Creature of Telluride," which I think should be the title of the story. (just a suggestion)
Thanks, Sandy! Iβm so glad you enjoyed my story! Soon Iβll have it in audio format!
I actually had that as the title when I was writing it! I think I changed it to better reflect the theme of the contest I wrote it for.
Are you going to be the narrator?
Well, I'm definitely late to the party here. Really impressed with this Sean. Tremendous writing. Hooked from the get go. Loved it. - Jim
Thank you, Jim! β€οΈ I appreciate the read!
This was definitely one of those stories where I looked and could not look away, no matter how difficult it got. I love it, Sean.
Thank you, Hanna! I have you on my read list. I have a couple favorites in this Gibberish contest, and you are one of them!
Wow, this was wicked and it was also humane. You wrote a very nice little depiction of parts of humanity and combined it with wicked horror.
Also, the whole story and setting brought back memories of Ray Bradbury's "Something wicked this way comes". Wonderfully done.
Thank you, Ika! I'm glad you liked it. And you weren't the first to mention Bradbury's story! I'll take it! :))
At the risk of using an expression my students so thoroughly overworked, OMG! There's so much depth here, so much hint of even more horror lurking just out of sight. The beast, after all, must have come from somewhere. There must be more of them...
Imagination and blood-chilling.
I totally missed this comment from back in April. I appreciate your kind words. It was a blast to write! β€οΈ
Holy shit. I was hooked and couldnβt stop reading. Really amazing!
Thank you! That means a lot to me. <3
This was fantastic! I was genuinely surprised by that twist, and the atmosphere was phenomenal.
Thanks, Bridget! I'm glad you enjoyed it. <3
Anything with a fairground is automatically creepy as hell! Loved this, well done.
Glad you enjoyed it! Thanks for subscribing! :)
Right back at you!
Very creepy but I was held in place until the end. ππΌππΌππΌππΌπ¦
β€οΈππΌπ«Ά
A fabulous read. Iβm a total sucker for a fairground style story. Loved it.
Thank you!! It was fun writing it. πͺ
I entered too and I had fun as well. These types of competitions are great for stretching yourself like you say.
Are you planning on publishing it? Iβd love to read it!
Ah, that's kind, Sean. I don't really have a platform to share it anywhere right now, and I might hold onto it in case there's somewhere else for it to go. Alan Grainger gave me some excellent feedback on it via the feedback exchange, so I'll review it with some of his comments. Happy to send it you via email if you fancy a read and thanks for your interest.