The woman at the end is Blond. She's the one the yellow man came to kill.
The repeated colons was a stylistic choice. I wanted it to feel like the narrator was disgusted explaining more. And add intensity. This is the place to get a little wild and try stuff out. Make some jazz!
Oh. My. Gawd! This is so freaking fantastic! It moves like a muscle car, growling and picking up speed and just glorious! Def a new favorite from you, Sean. I’m going to go take the ride again. And, Blond is one ice-cool bitch! Frank would agree (that’s why he’s her cat).
Man I love Blonde’s energy🖤 This is such a cool piece.
I stole a guy’s cat once. He always forgot to feed her and hit her all the time, so I felt like it was justified. He showed up at my apartment and said he wanted to introduce me to his friends, Smith and Wesson🙄 Her name was Nelly and I had for 15 years after that. She died one 4th of July of a heart attack. Sweetest little girl I’ve ever had, just all snuggles and no sass.
Well, I’d say it paid off. The snappy, clipped prose is perfectly fitted to the story. Loved how lean you made it. Ran all the way to the finish line in shutter-clicks. Yes!
Sean, whenever I read one of your stories, I feel like I know each character's entire life story from the very few details you've provided. Amazing work, man 💚
Damn. This reads this like a flip book of Polaroids found in a seedy motel. I love it!
Ohh I like that. ✨ Thanks!
Who dis? More please. Super interesting glyph work and that voice was wicked snippy. One of my new faves of yours.
Ahh ty ty. Def inspired by Mr. Jon T, Will Boucher, and A.P Murphy on this one. Trying to learn that jazz you boys play so well.
feels good man
the yellow man is wearing tighty whities, because no one loves him enough to say anything.
If he only wore boxers then he wouldn't have had to die.
Take note, all authors.
I loved the line about the mascara. Spider's legs dipped in chocolate. Great.
Thanks for mentioning that! I really liked that line, too. Was hoping it would resonate with someone else. ❤️
this is awesome. it reminds me of tom wolfe. i'm so floored to be getting a brand new style from automatic writer after all this time. amazing talent.
I'll take Tom Wolfe. ❤️ This comment really made my night.
This was fantastic. I loved how fast paced it was!
Thank you, Skyla!
MORE!!!!
❤️
This is epic!! You are epic!! I absolutely love this style! And the drama....?! I eyes nearly popped out!
What a lovely comment to wake up to! Thank you, Nicole! ❤️
awesome! tight, driven, tense, vivid.
not sure about the repeated colons though? what is that... like... lots of pauses?
love the sauce and the colours imagery
nor sure i understand who everyone is in the scene... there seemed to be an extra woman right at the end...?
Thanks, Nick!
The woman at the end is Blond. She's the one the yellow man came to kill.
The repeated colons was a stylistic choice. I wanted it to feel like the narrator was disgusted explaining more. And add intensity. This is the place to get a little wild and try stuff out. Make some jazz!
Point-blank prose. Spontaneous but inevitable. And on top of all that, the characters felt alive. Top-shelf stuff.
❤️❤️❤️
Oh. My. Gawd! This is so freaking fantastic! It moves like a muscle car, growling and picking up speed and just glorious! Def a new favorite from you, Sean. I’m going to go take the ride again. And, Blond is one ice-cool bitch! Frank would agree (that’s why he’s her cat).
A muscle car! That is perfect. Exactly what I was going for. Thanks, Liz! ❤️
Man I love Blonde’s energy🖤 This is such a cool piece.
I stole a guy’s cat once. He always forgot to feed her and hit her all the time, so I felt like it was justified. He showed up at my apartment and said he wanted to introduce me to his friends, Smith and Wesson🙄 Her name was Nelly and I had for 15 years after that. She died one 4th of July of a heart attack. Sweetest little girl I’ve ever had, just all snuggles and no sass.
Oh geez. Nelly. ❤️ Glad you rescued her from that lameo!
That was some red-hot stuff there, man!
Thanks, Bradley! Trying to throw some of that heat in there like you do!
Well, I’d say it paid off. The snappy, clipped prose is perfectly fitted to the story. Loved how lean you made it. Ran all the way to the finish line in shutter-clicks. Yes!
Thanks dude! Shutter-clicks! I love that.
Good stuff young man. Tense, edgy, desperate, and lots of atmosphere - just the way I like it. Excellent job. - Jim
Thanks, Jim! Thought I'd try something a little different with this one. :)
Sean, whenever I read one of your stories, I feel like I know each character's entire life story from the very few details you've provided. Amazing work, man 💚