Julie got out of bed and followed the sound to the opposite side of her new bedroom. The whistling was coming from within the wall, right behind the meadow of textile daisies, wallpaper her mother called “quaint.” Back in Gary, Julie would have minded cheery daisies, because in Gary, happy flowers would have clashed with her disposition. But here in Truckee, in this new life, they suited her just fine.
She ran her hand over the wall and squinted; there was a seam. With her index finger, she traced the indentation up, over, and then down.
A door?
Julie walked back to her bed and pulled the covers up to her chin. Tomorrow she’d ask her dad about the door. If she were lucky, she’d have more closet space by the end of the week.
Her eyes were heavy, her body warm beneath the comforter. The moonlight through the windowpanes made angelic hopscotch squares on the hardwood floor. Julie imagined getting out of bed and curling up in the magnificent pale light.
Her mind wandered until it landed on the Elk her dad hit the night they’d arrived in Truckee. It was a moment’s distraction while fiddling with the radio. Julie was the only one who saw the animal’s eyes just before impact; they were eyes full of fear, yes, but they were also full of something else that she couldn’t quite put a finger on. Relief? Inevitability? Her dad had told her to stay in the car, but she wanted to help—she wanted to save the poor thing’s life! Its panic-white eyes rolled in their sockets, and a low whistle came with each shallow breath, until finally it had gone still. Julie walked back to the car, but she hadn’t cried; maybe all new chapters need a sacrifice, she had thought.
When she finally slept, she dreamed a syrup-slow scene in which her dad handed her a shard of glass from the headlamp of their car, and said, “The bones are too heavy.”
When Julie’s alarm went off, the moonlight squares were now soft patches of sunlight disrupted intermittently by blah-gray clouds moseying across the sky.
Julie saw the move to Truckee as her opportunity to lose the reputation imposed on her by that asshole, Mark Darcie, back in Gary, who freshman year, told anyone who’d listen about how he fingered her during P.E. An unfortunate truth, and one Julie would have preferred to keep to herself. The following year had been one of social exile, so when her dad broke the news that they’d be moving to a new town on the west coast, and how that “unfortunately” meant leaving her nonexistent friends behind, she reluctantly accepted this terrible news like a team player, went to her room, and thanked God for hearing her prayers.
On the first day of school, a girl named Kelly asked Julie to sit with her and her friends during lunch. By the end of the week, she was part of their group. She’d met just about everyone in their circle except for one girl, Beth, who was away on a trip with her family at Pismo Beach.
That weekend, they all went to the lake for a swim. In the late afternoon, as Julie lounged beneath a shrugging willow, Beth pulled up in an old Nova with a boy named Ricky. She exited the car with a case of Modelo in her hand, walked straight up to where Julie sat beneath the tree, and handed her a beer.
“It’s not great, but it’ll do the trick.” Beth winked.
When Julie got home that evening, she hugged her dad and said, “Thank you for moving us here, Dad. Best decision ever.” Then she went to her room, put her head on her pillow, and thought about Beth. She was nice, funny, and kind. And she was Pretty.
Once autumn rolled around, the quaking aspen and maple trees of Truckee blanketed Julie’s world in a golden quilt. She worshiped the trees and prayed to the stars. And when her parents said they were going out of town for a few days, and would she mind being on her own for Halloween? In her mind she was already planning a party.
And of course the first person Julie told about the party was Beth, who grinned and said, “Hell yeah.”
Soon, that was all anyone in their group talked about.
One week before the party, Julie invited Beth over to help plan. They went to her bedroom and sat on the bed, laughing about Beth’s silly costume.
“You’re going to be Pee-wee Herman? That’s so random.” Julie reached over and touched Beth’s hair; it was even softer than she thought it would be. “You going to wear a wig or something?”
Beth looked skeptical. “Um, no. I’m going to cut it all off and dye it black.”
“No you are fucking not.”
“I am! And you’re going to help me. Let’s cut it the night of the party so that Kelly and everyone are super shocked.” Beth pulled back her long brown hair. “Do you think I’ll look weird with short hair?”
Julie looked down at her hands. “No. I think you’ll look pretty.”
“What are you going to be?” Beth wrapped an arm around Julie and squeezed.
Julie turned her head and looked at Beth’s petal-pink lips. The room felt warm.
“An angel.”
The night before the party, Julie heard the whistling coming from her wall again. She walked over and pressed her ear against the daisy-covered wallpaper. This time, it sounded different; it was like wind through the trees, an autumn whispering.
She leaned against the wall; there was a tearing sound as the wallpaper came apart in a straight line up the seam. Julie stood back and put her hand to her mouth—her dad was going to kill her. Only three months in and she’d already ruined her bedroom wall.
She stepped back up to the daisies, dug her finger into the tear, and carefully lifted the wallpaper away from the wall. Before she knew it, she’d torn away enough of the wallpaper to see a flush metal ring pull at the center of the door. She reached for the ring, then paused.
What am I doing?
She shook her head and went to the bathroom to brush her teeth.
Julie looked in the mirror and wondered if Beth would take her up on the offer to stay the night. Beth had said it all depended on whether or not Ricky was coming to the party. Julie thought Ricky was nice, but he wasn’t good enough for Beth. He was a bore. His favorite band was Bush.
Julie spit in the sink. There were strawberry-pink swirls in the frothy mint toothpaste.
On her way to bed, she stopped to look at the mystery door.
Probably just a shallow cupboard, she thought. She hooked her finger through the ring and pulled; the door swung open.
A closet?
Her bedroom filled with a cold, earthy scent. It reminded her of the basement at her church back in Gary.
It was too dark to see much of anything in the closet. She went to the nightstand and took her flashlight from the bedside table. When she turned back around, the door was shut. She paused. Then she put the flashlight away and sat on the edge of her bed, staring at the door until her eyes became too dry to keep open.
In her dream, she was the dying Elk looking up at herself and her dad, whistling for death. But who was that behind her dad?
When Julie woke up, her parents were already gone. She brushed her teeth, dressed, and was on her way out of the room when she remembered the door.
She hooked her finger in the ring and slowly pulled open the door.
The sunlight revealed a cramped, empty space. At the back of the closet, hanging on the dusty wall, was a mirror with a fissure down the center like a lightning bolt. It made Julie’s face look like it was split in two. She’d need to buy a new mirror.
The door creaked closed on its own, but just before it was completely shut, she saw fear in the eyes of her reflection.
When Beth arrived at Julie’s house, she was wearing orange shorts with a white stripe up the sides and a black jacket. Draped over her arm was a gray suit, white dress shirt, and red bow tie.
“Are you sure you want to do this?” asked Julie. “We could just hide your hair beneath the back of the jacket.”
“In for a penny, in for a pound.” Beth grinned.
“What does that mean?”
“My grandpa always says it. It means fuck it.”
Julie slid a chair to the center of the kitchen and told Beth to take a seat.
Beth unzipped her jacket and threw it over the side of the chair. Then she took off her shirt.
Julie blushed. “I’ll be right back,” she said. “I need to grab my scissors from the bathroom.”
When Julie got to the end of the hall, she turned to look at Beth sitting shirtless on the kitchen chair. Her skin was as pale as moonlight. Julie wanted to curl up in it. She swallowed hard.
As she walked past the yellow daisies, she pushed the closet door shut.
Julie pulled the shears from the bathroom drawer, set them on the counter, and raised her eyes to the mirror; she was covered in blood—the shears were stuck into the side of her own neck, and though her mouth was open as if she were screaming, there was no sound.
Julie recoiled, her back slamming against the wall behind her. Then she blinked, and the blood was gone. The scissors were back on the counter.
She picked up the shears and ran out of the bathroom, past the open closet door, and down the hall to the kitchen, where Beth sat eating an apple.
“Hope you don’t mind. I’m starving.” Beth looked Julie up and down. “You okay? You look nervous. Honestly, I don’t care if you fuck up. I’ve always wanted to shave the entire thing anyway.”
Beth looked out the living room window.
Julie was starting to feel like herself again. Maybe she’d been dehydrated. She blew on Beth’s neck to remove the last of the tiny hairs.
“That feels amazing. I should have chopped my hair off long ago.” Beth turned around to face her friend. “You’re not fooling anyone with this angel costume, babe.”
“I’m a good girl—I swear!”
“Sure you are, Julie. Sure you are. But do you think I look enough like Pee-wee?”
Beth got on the tips of her shoes and danced. “Tequila!”
“You’re such a dork.” Julie laughed until her gold halo nearly fell from her hair.
“They’re here!” Shouted Beth as two carloads of their friends pulled into the driveway. “I have an idea!” She ran over to the front door and cracked it.
“Quick—put on that creepy music!”
Julie did as she was ordered.
“Come on!” Beth grabbed Julie by her arm and pulled.
Julie was thankful her feathery angel wings and gold halo stayed in place as they darted toward her bedroom.
When they got to the doorway to her room, Julie stopped.
“Come on!” Beth pulled her toward the opening in the daisy-covered wall.
Julie resisted. “Fuck no.”
“Oh, what? You scared? You can hold my hand. We’ll only be in there for a few seconds. We’ll jump out and scare the shit out of them!”
“Don’t let go.”
“I won’t let go.” Beth’s freshly dyed blue-black hair accentuated her petal-pink lips.
Julie paused. “Promise?”
Beth smiled, grabbed Julie’s hand, and pulled her into the closet. “I swear on my life. I wouldn’t lie to an angel, right?”
The cramped closet was cold and musty. Julie could feel the warmth radiating from her friend’s body.
Beth moved closer, her suit jacket brushing against Julie’s arm and sending shivers up her back.
Julie squeezed Beth’s warm hand.
Beth squeezed back.
Out in the living room, Kelly and the rest of their friends were laughing and opening doors and shouting for Julie and Beth to come on out. “We know you’re here, assholes!”
Beth giggled.
Julie’s cheeks burned with passion and shame; she wanted to throw her arms around Beth and kiss her, but she wasn’t sure if Beth went that way. Hell, she wasn’t even sure she went that way. But maybe she did? Here in the dark, her body seemed to already know; it was just waiting for permission from her mind.
But now her body was done waiting. Now her body had teamed up with her soul, and tonight, here in this closet, the perfect opportunity presented itself. She would give in and lose her mind. She would find something new—something real.
She put her free hand on Beth’s hip and leaned in to kiss her.
Beth let go of Julie’s hand.
Julie stammered. “I-I was just…I thought we…”
It felt as if the weight of the silence might crush her.
“Beth? Beth, speak to me.”
In the dark closet, Julie wanted to believe the world had slipped into oblivion, and that she wouldn’t have to deal with the mess she’d just gotten herself into. Why was she sabotaging her life here in Truckee?
“I’m sorry, Beth. I couldn’t help myself. You’re beautiful, kind, and I’ve never met anyone like you. If you don’t go that way…”
It started low, the same whistling as before, only deeper.
“Do you hear that?” Julie turned around in the dark to face where the whistling was coming from, and although it was pitch-black in the closet, she could see the mirror clearly hanging at the rear of the closet.
“Beth, you see this?”
Julie saw her mouth move in the reflection of the mirror, but it seemed off, as if it were mimicking her. She raised a hand, and her reflection did the same, but again, it was…off.
The whistling stopped. The house was silent.
Julie reached out, expecting to make contact with the door and nearly fell over. There was nothing there.
“What the hell?”
The whistling started again. This time louder.
In the mirror, her reflection’s lips pursed, mimicking the sound of the whistling.
Julie reached out, searching for Beth in the surrounding darkness, coming up with nothing.
“Beth? Beth please talk to me. We need to get out of here! We need to get out now!”
She turned around, reaching for the door, coming up with nothing.
She stepped forward. Nothing.
Stepped forward again. Still nothing.
Then she was sprinting, looking over her shoulder at the mirror, which was no farther away than it had been a moment before. The darkness swallowed her screams.
Her reflection mocked her. It put its hands to its cheeks and opened its mouth wide enough for Julie to see it had no teeth, just a hole of despair and hatred—a hole of shame, lust, and longing.
Julie stopped running. “It’s not real,” she shouted and covered her eyes. I’m having a breakdown. Or was she being poisoned? Yes! A carbon monoxide leak! Any minute now, her friends would open the closet door and drag her out into the safety of her bedroom.
But then her reflection spoke; it was her own voice, only thin, only not quite right. Whispered like a church-child.
“Come inside, Julie.”
Julie opened her eyes. Her reflection was gone. In its place was an unfamiliar man wearing a dirty white dress shirt with a short collar, the sleeves rolled up to the elbow. His scraggly sideburns came down low, all the way to his chin, and his arms and hands were wet with blood. His eyes, distant at first, snapped to attention upon seeing Julie. He stared at her like the Elk stared at her, just before her dad hit it. Then, the man’s eyes became wild and desperate.
He reached out a shaky hand and touched the glass, leaving a rust-red smudge.
The world was in slow motion. Julie thought she could hear Beth calling her name.
“Beth?” she called. “Beth, I’m in trouble.”
Julie looked over her shoulder; it was another mirror, but in this new mirror, she saw Beth, shirtless, her pale breasts and pink nipples exposed. She opened her arms and tilted her head back in a silent laugh, but when her face came back down, she had branching antlers and lacquered-black eyes.
Julie put her hand to her mouth.
Then, in a mirror to her right, her dad grinned, his face rising from the steaming belly of the Elk he’d hit. Strands of flesh and fur hung from his teeth. He shook the dangling meat playfully.
All around the room were mirrors, each with a new horror, each terror customized for Julie.
She clawed at her own face! This was madness—this was insanity!
She turned back around to face the man with the blood-covered hands. It was him—he was doing this to her.
“What do you want from me?” she shouted.
The man was still speaking, but there was no sound. He looked at Julie with pleading eyes. She’d never seen so much sorrow and fear in a set of eyes before. She tried to read his lips. What was he saying? “Save me?”
She whipped around, witnessing each horror—each mirror. She spun around and around until she was dizzy and wild with fear. Her crown fell off her head to the floor.
Then, her eyes met her own eyes—it was her own reflection again. In the mirror, her angel costume was covered in blood, and she was holding a shard of glass in her hand like a knife.
Julie looked down; the shard of glass was in her hand, just like in her reflection. She considered using it to end this nightmare. She saw the recognition and delight by her reflection in this idea; but if hell was here in Truckee, then hell was everywhere. Hell was something inescapable and boundless.
The man with the bloody hands pulled off his boot, bashing the heel of it into the mirror repeatedly.
Julie felt the blood draining from her body. She was the Elk; her bones were too heavy to carry the distance it would take to leave this place. Her heart and soul and bones were all too heavy.
A light opened from somewhere behind her. An angel? A real angel? No—it was a new demon, this one with a red slit across its neck.
Julie gave in—there was no use resisting. She looked at the man in the mirror one last time. He was still screaming, trying to smash the glass with the heel of his boot.
It had been nice in Truckee for a while. Nice having a friend like Beth. And it had been a nice kiss, however brief.
The devil pulled her over the threshold and into a field of daisies.
No. No, it wasn’t a devil. And it wasn’t a demon. It was a girl wearing a red bow tie. A girl with petal-pink lips.
One of your creepiest ones, which is saying something. Totally unnerved by the end, and then when I read EJ's after I nearly jumped with excitement at how they tied together. Love it so much when you two work together.
Love how these two pieces feed off each other and weave together. The imagery of Pee-wee with all this blood makes it extra creepy