68 Comments
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MundaneMarvels's avatar

This story clings to me like the scent of wet earth... sweet, unsettling, and lingering. I’m not sure what came back in Bernard’s place, but it wasn’t just a child. It was grief, dressed in hope’s clothing.

Pages After Dark's avatar

This was really good! I love your writing style! And for some reason I really love the title. So mysterious and fitting. Subscribed! Keep writing, fellow horror writer!

Sean Thomas McDonnell's avatar

Thank you! I appreciate the read and comment! ❤️

Bridget Riley's avatar

Oh goodness, I think I need to go back and read through this more slowly to savor it! I flew through it and loved it even as I dreaded the ending! Wonderful work, Sean!

Sean Thomas McDonnell's avatar

Thank you, Bridget! I'm glad you liked it! ❤️❤️❤️

Kimberly B🌴👻🌴's avatar

Same!

Jon T's avatar

This is a disquieting TBAR story (that baby aint right) -dreadfully dreadfilled.

Sean Thomas McDonnell's avatar

TBAR! I love that. haha

Thank you, homie!

Jon T's avatar

it’s an adaptation from something my sister coined long ago—TKAR - that kid ain’t right. She was referring to me as a child of course.

Mac Sitko's avatar

The twist genuinely made my stomach drop. Perfect mix of horror and sadness.

Sean Thomas McDonnell's avatar

Thanks, Mac! I really enjoyed working on that ending and trying to figure out what to show.

Nick Buchheit's avatar

This is a mood. Feels like an old folktale that has aged and rotten a little. Love the POV of the brother and writing. Very smooth. Eerie. I could picture everything so clearly. Great work, Sean!

Sean Thomas McDonnell's avatar

Thank you, Nick! 🖤 I'm having fun turning it into a screenplay. :))

Nick Buchheit's avatar

I was hoping you would type such words. I think it could be an excellent folk or gothic horror. At least that’s the vibes I got.

Sean Thomas McDonnell's avatar

I'm outlining it now and it's got a lot going for it. I've introduced other characters and storylines. Heck, I might write it as a novel or novella too. haha

Nick Buchheit's avatar

Love it.

wildflower's avatar

Your story really soaked me in. Great writing!!

Rain, Stories and a Cup of Tea's avatar

Good story! Holds one's attention until the end. Thank you for sharing!

Sean Thomas McDonnell's avatar

Great to hear! Thank you!! 🙏

Eugenia P. Frankenberg 🥀's avatar

Startling and upsetting, but in a good way. I began to feel the chills coming in when the protagonist lied about opening the iron door.

Sean Thomas McDonnell's avatar

It was such a small, casual lie. What could go wrong? Thank you for reading! 🖤

Joe Nada (no relation)'s avatar

Wow, this is brilliant! The image of the pastor singing really makes me itch. Great story.

Sean Thomas McDonnell's avatar

Thank you, Joe! Much appreciated! 🖤 Singing in horror is so underrated! :))

Paul Imgrund's avatar

Unsettling, vibey, folk-horror-y. Definitely agree with the Midsommar comparison. My favorite element is that this feels like being dropped into a much bigger world...I definitely want to read more about this culture.

Sean Thomas McDonnell's avatar

Thank you, Paul! I agree--there is more to learn about this place and these people. I've started sketching out something larger based off of this short. We'll see what happens with it! :) Thanks for reading and commenting! I appreciate it! 🖤

Bridget's avatar

I will contribute my like to this cautionary tale.

Sean Thomas McDonnell's avatar

You rule the school! Thanks! 🙏🏼 ❤️

Jennifer James's avatar

Once I started, I couldn't stop reading. It made me reflect on what I like best about your writing. The rhythm and momentum of your stories keeps my attention. I don't struggle to focus. I can't look away.

Sean Thomas McDonnell's avatar

Geez! Thank you soooo much! I get distracted really easily, so maybe the momentum is there so I stay interested while writing it. ;) Thank you, Jennifer! <3

LG McCary's avatar

Reminds me of Shirley Jackson or W.W. Jacobs.

Sean Thomas McDonnell's avatar

Well that's the best compliment. Thank you!

Mkwawa shujaa's avatar

I loved the mix of folk horror and psychological dread. You are a good story teller.

Sean Thomas McDonnell's avatar

Thank you, Mkwawa! I appreciate that! ❤️

Shane Bzdok's avatar

Dread and unease, dealt with a deft hand. This is really really good, Sean. More of this, please.

Sean Thomas McDonnell's avatar

Thank you , Shane! I love the response to this story. I’ve been sitting on it for a long time, good to have it out in the wild! ❤️